Friday, May 4, 2012

Happy 3 month birthday twinnies!

Holy crap, where has the time gone.. the twinnies are 3 months old today, I can't quite believe it!

I also can't quite believe what absolute joy the 2 of them bring me - they bring tears to my eyes daily, I'm so in love with these funny little people.

I thought it appropriate to revisit today my Pros and Cons list which I constructed to supposedly help THE massive decision -  whether to actually join the rat race and have children..or is that leave the rat race and my fabulous (extremely selfish) life??

Anyway I will share that personal list for the benefit of those reading that are perhaps nearing a similar time in their lives and would like some reassurance. Remembering that I have never heard a tick tock of a clock, couldn't think of anything sillier.. If me of all people can jump in with eyes wide shut, anyone can do it.


1. It's us, half and half.


1. Too soon. (Sean and I had only been together 3 months and I had literally just moved in with him that weekend)
2. I want more time for us.
3. It's forever.
4. The Best Little Vintage Van in Vegas is just taking off - what do I do with the van? How can I make it work?
5. I can no longer do what I want when I want.
6. Space @ home - I have to lose my room for stock and office to make a nursery.
7. Worried I'm not ready and will never be ready.
8. No more travelling at the drop of a hat and definitely no more adventure travelling.
9. Worried about downs syndrome and my age.
10. How will Phoebe and Tabitha (Seans girls) react?
11. My achilles - (ok this seems weird but I have had a dodgy achilles for ages, was worried that I would get huge and my achilles would get even worse and I would never be able to run again)
12. Loss of my own self.
13. I will never have any more time to myself - 247 there will be someone needing me.
14. I'm grumpy when I'm tired.
15. I like my boobs how they are.
16. I don't want stretch marks.
17. I'm getting older and it's harder to lose weight.

So there you are, I told you I was selfish.

1 Pro and 17 cons and we still did it!

But have to say, it took me until about 4 months into the pregnancy to actually accept that I was doing this and that it was perhaps a good thing. And I was still crying in surgery, wondering if I was doing the right thing and knowing it was too damn late to change my mind!

Now reflecting on that list - with a bit of a jelly belly still to lose, 1 crying baby rocking at my feet and a 10 minute shower (with time to shave both legs) now my idea of pure bliss.. I wouldn't change a single thing. All of those concerns vanished into thin air when I held those tiny wee bundles in my arms. I always thought that was a load of bollox... but it's true.

Florence and Hemingway. You rock my world.

And Sean. You are my rock. I couldn't have done it with anyone but you.