Saturday, June 23, 2012

Up the duff.. and suffering..

I was watching an interview with Naomi Wolf a couple of weeks ago where she was saying that nobody gives you the honest to goodness truth about pregnancy and child birth. Not your mother, nor your best friend, nor even your worst enemy.

Thought I'd share mine, .. you lucky people ha.

Part One. Pregnancy.

1. Severe Shock. As it turns out for some considerable time, which was intensified with the confirmation of twins.

2. Overwhelming tiredness, can't even get up off the couch to get a biscuit. The remote was my best friend for the first few weeks.

3. Nausea - I was lucky, only lasted for a couple of weeks but was definitely not morning sickness, more the all day just feel yuck kinda thang.

4. Nose bleeds - these started maybe a third of the way through my pregnancy and continued til the day the twinnies arrived. I have never had a nose bleed in my life apart from the one time a basketball was thrown at me in my blind spot and hit me square on the snoz. I had nose bleeds nearly probably on average every second day or night in my pregnancy. Over them.

5. Alcohol withdrawals - I missed my vino tinto and although I drank a glass of wine whenever I wanted one (or quite often 2 halves so I felt like I was having 2 drinks) I really missed having a warm little buzz - so many people said to me that it's fine, you don't feel like alcohol when you're pregnant,  bla bla bla. Bullshit.

6. Indigestion. Holy crap, I have never had it before and never want it again. What a horrible sensation, and I had it a lot - especially towards the last trimester, nearly every meal meant searing pain and a whole lot of moaning and groaning for Sean to put up with. Gee those Gaviscon tablets are disgusting as well but do seem to do the trick.

7. No internal body thermometer. I was HOT the whole time... and yes it was summer for the bulk of my pregnancy but I was seriously hot. Couldn't cool down - had to wear just undies and singlets all day. Poor Jehovah's, gave them a shock of a lifetime one visit.

8. Weight gain - ha there's a given - I put on 21 kilos but ohhhh what a great feeling leaving hospital a week later, a load lighter, 14 kgs lighter in fact.

9. A lot of pathetic wee'ing - I say pathetic as it takes a lot of effort when you have a big double load out in front to actually visit the toilet - and seriously all that work for a trickle when you think its going to be a waterfall. So annoying.

There are a few others that I was lucky not to suffer from - crazy mood swings (I don't think so anyway...), cankles, bloatedness etc etc.

It was a long pregnancy but I think for myself, I was much more concerned about the end result, ie what the fuck do I do when these 2 little people arrive, more so than the journey to get there. I really do think I was lucky, not too much to complain about although sorry my love, I'm sure i did my fair share of that!

Until the birth that is, then I was a tad unlucky, 1 percent of births unlucky. But that's another story!


Saturday, June 9, 2012

hi ho hi ho it's off to work I go..

So 4 months down the track and I'm back out doing what I do.. not that you could actually call this work...hanging out in my gorgeous little van of vintage fun and jaunting around town in my pink jallopy, op shopping to my heart's content.

It is wonderful to be back and realise that the van has been sorely missed around town, have been totally feeling the love!

With the twinnies still just wee babies, it is just not feasible to be up and away to the farmers markets around 3am so I am regrettably giving my old regular haunts of West End and Powerhouse markets a miss for the moment.

BUT while we've been AWOL, I've managed to find an amazing location for the van - Shucked Coffee House in Newstead.  Such a perfect little fit for us - the cafe if you haven't been is super cool and retro in an old warehouse hiding in behind the car yards of Newstead. On weekends, the cafe spills out into a graffiti lined laneway, the other half of the warehouse, which in wet weather (like today grrrr) is fabulous for the van - under cover yay! We are initially be fortnightly on Saturdays and Sundays from the perfectly reasonable hour of 7.30am until 1.30pm'ish.

This new venture, along with special festivals and events should keep Mum sane and in theory, work perfectly. I'm home with the twinnies during the week having all the fun and then Dad is home on the weekends with them -  as it turns out, wreaking havoc with the routine! Sleeps are out the window, feeding is haphazard, kids are bloody loco and poor Dad is stressed and half crazed himself by the time I get home - not sure if this is the relaxing family weekend he had planned!

Whilst I am relishing doing what I love again and back out having some adult conversation, I do miss them dreadfully. The highlight of my day is definitely a visit and a cuddle from the dastardly duo.. even if Florence is dressed in Hemi's pyjamas... how lucky am I that my "job" allows me such luxuries!


Friday, May 4, 2012

Happy 3 month birthday twinnies!

Holy crap, where has the time gone.. the twinnies are 3 months old today, I can't quite believe it!

I also can't quite believe what absolute joy the 2 of them bring me - they bring tears to my eyes daily, I'm so in love with these funny little people.

I thought it appropriate to revisit today my Pros and Cons list which I constructed to supposedly help THE massive decision -  whether to actually join the rat race and have children..or is that leave the rat race and my fabulous (extremely selfish) life??

Anyway I will share that personal list for the benefit of those reading that are perhaps nearing a similar time in their lives and would like some reassurance. Remembering that I have never heard a tick tock of a clock, couldn't think of anything sillier.. If me of all people can jump in with eyes wide shut, anyone can do it.


1. It's us, half and half.


1. Too soon. (Sean and I had only been together 3 months and I had literally just moved in with him that weekend)
2. I want more time for us.
3. It's forever.
4. The Best Little Vintage Van in Vegas is just taking off - what do I do with the van? How can I make it work?
5. I can no longer do what I want when I want.
6. Space @ home - I have to lose my room for stock and office to make a nursery.
7. Worried I'm not ready and will never be ready.
8. No more travelling at the drop of a hat and definitely no more adventure travelling.
9. Worried about downs syndrome and my age.
10. How will Phoebe and Tabitha (Seans girls) react?
11. My achilles - (ok this seems weird but I have had a dodgy achilles for ages, was worried that I would get huge and my achilles would get even worse and I would never be able to run again)
12. Loss of my own self.
13. I will never have any more time to myself - 247 there will be someone needing me.
14. I'm grumpy when I'm tired.
15. I like my boobs how they are.
16. I don't want stretch marks.
17. I'm getting older and it's harder to lose weight.

So there you are, I told you I was selfish.

1 Pro and 17 cons and we still did it!

But have to say, it took me until about 4 months into the pregnancy to actually accept that I was doing this and that it was perhaps a good thing. And I was still crying in surgery, wondering if I was doing the right thing and knowing it was too damn late to change my mind!

Now reflecting on that list - with a bit of a jelly belly still to lose, 1 crying baby rocking at my feet and a 10 minute shower (with time to shave both legs) now my idea of pure bliss.. I wouldn't change a single thing. All of those concerns vanished into thin air when I held those tiny wee bundles in my arms. I always thought that was a load of bollox... but it's true.

Florence and Hemingway. You rock my world.

And Sean. You are my rock. I couldn't have done it with anyone but you.


Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Note to self...

Repeat after me..

Never, ever go out on an excursion without extra formula to feed starving children....

I learnt my lesson today after visiting the hospital for what I thought was just a one hour group physio class. Post class however, I was extremely lucky to get a one on one appointment with a physio to try and sort out my aching back (which has been annihilated by the dastardly duo).

I weighed up the pros and cons..

Pros - Desperately need some back relief
           Sleeping babies

Cons - Babies due for Feed with only water in my bag of tricks
Figured it was a no brainer.

Bad mistake.

I have paid for it all afternoon with a tag team of crying, screaming and hollering.

Finally, finally they are settled, on our bed, and in walks Daddy 5 minutes later who is then treated to a chorus of chit chat, smiles and giggles.

Bloody traitors.


Friday, April 13, 2012

Packing our bags...

Some changes I have noticed.

I used to pack a bag and jump on a plane to somewhere/anywhere, at a moments notice.

Kakakak. Finito.

I used to be able to take a small back pack as carry on baggage for a weekend sojourn to Timbuktu.

Now I have to start packing 48 hours in advance for 2 tiny teeny little people that seem to require more changes of clothing than Paris Hilton.

I used to be able to arrive at the airport with the minimum 30 minute check in time for a domestic flight and still grab a coffee or a beer on the way to the gate.

Now I have to arrive at least two hours early as logistics require a major juggling act and a visit to special baggage services to ensure our double pram & portacot are waiting for us at the other end.

I used to be able to catch public transport at the other end.

Now we have to hire a Toyota Tarago.


Thursday, April 12, 2012

The journey begins...

So for those who know me, you may recall kids were not part of my plan.. not that I really had a plan...go with the flow and all that. 
On our second date, Sean and I had the chat.. He asked me if I wanted kids.. Nope.. I asked him if he wanted more kids.. Nope.. Sweet, all sorted, we were on the same page. 
Ours was a short and blessed courtship to say the least. Our first date was March 13 2011, I moved in to Sean's house just 3 months later. Just as well. The weekend that I invaded (literally..I have a LOT Of stuff!), Sean flew out to Japan for work for 3 weeks. I took a pregnancy test when he was on the plane. He arrived in Okinawa to a skype call from me...howling and holding up a stick with a couple of pink lines.
Two and a half weeks later, after many sleepless nights and soul searching,   we decided fuk it, lets do it. So there I came to be, laying obliviously looking at a screen of some sort of blob, when the radiographer says to me “well thats an interesting picture”... I reply “what?”...she replies, “well there’s two!” 
And there was. 

Sunday, April 1, 2012


My friend Ali just posted this pic of a vintage shop in Whitstable, England which reminded her of me... copy cats!

Saturday, March 24, 2012

How cute are these!!

My latest purchase for the dastardly duo... couldn't resist.. all of their little friends will want to come and play... (um when they are a tad older maybe and actually make some friends that is!)

Have to also give a little shout out, THE most amazing service from, ordered them online Friday morning, they arrived at my door with a smile at about 1pm the same day...!

Friday, March 23, 2012


Florence Daisy Cleary & Hemingway Arthur Cleary
Born 5th February 2012
Life as I know it is officially over.