Up the duff.. and suffering..

I was watching an interview with Naomi Wolf a couple of weeks ago where she was saying that nobody gives you the honest to goodness truth about pregnancy and child birth. Not your mother, nor your best friend, nor even your worst enemy.

Thought I'd share mine, .. you lucky people ha.

Part One. Pregnancy.

1. Severe Shock. As it turns out for some considerable time, which was intensified with the confirmation of twins.

2. Overwhelming tiredness, can't even get up off the couch to get a biscuit. The remote was my best friend for the first few weeks.

3. Nausea - I was lucky, only lasted for a couple of weeks but was definitely not morning sickness, more the all day just feel yuck kinda thang.

4. Nose bleeds - these started maybe a third of the way through my pregnancy and continued til the day the twinnies arrived. I have never had a nose bleed in my life apart from the one time a basketball was thrown at me in my blind spot and hit me square on the snoz. I had nose bleeds nearly probably on average every second day or night in my pregnancy. Over them.

5. Alcohol withdrawals - I missed my vino tinto and although I drank a glass of wine whenever I wanted one (or quite often 2 halves so I felt like I was having 2 drinks) I really missed having a warm little buzz - so many people said to me that it's fine, you don't feel like alcohol when you're pregnant,  bla bla bla. Bullshit.

6. Indigestion. Holy crap, I have never had it before and never want it again. What a horrible sensation, and I had it a lot - especially towards the last trimester, nearly every meal meant searing pain and a whole lot of moaning and groaning for Sean to put up with. Gee those Gaviscon tablets are disgusting as well but do seem to do the trick.

7. No internal body thermometer. I was HOT the whole time... and yes it was summer for the bulk of my pregnancy but I was seriously hot. Couldn't cool down - had to wear just undies and singlets all day. Poor Jehovah's, gave them a shock of a lifetime one visit.

8. Weight gain - ha there's a given - I put on 21 kilos but ohhhh what a great feeling leaving hospital a week later, a load lighter, 14 kgs lighter in fact.

9. A lot of pathetic wee'ing - I say pathetic as it takes a lot of effort when you have a big double load out in front to actually visit the toilet - and seriously all that work for a trickle when you think its going to be a waterfall. So annoying.

There are a few others that I was lucky not to suffer from - crazy mood swings (I don't think so anyway...), cankles, bloatedness etc etc.

It was a long pregnancy but I think for myself, I was much more concerned about the end result, ie what the fuck do I do when these 2 little people arrive, more so than the journey to get there. I really do think I was lucky, not too much to complain about although sorry my love, I'm sure i did my fair share of that!

Until the birth that is, then I was a tad unlucky, 1 percent of births unlucky. But that's another story!


xx